Mumsaid

I am a terrible mother. Here's why: 1)  Sometimes my children are up past 8pm. 2)  When feverish or teething, my children take children's acetaminophen.  And it's red.  And they like it. 3)  They have had all of their shots. 4)  My daughter goes topless at home. 5)  I don't shut the blinds OR the front door. 6)  We don't wind up the cords from the blinds either.  They dangle freely like vines in a jungle. 7)  My children have both painted before age 2.  And used crayons.  And markers.  And glue.  It tastes good. 8)  My children eat Happy Meals.  Chicken nuggets have white meat in them, never mind the percentage that is actual meat. 9)  Apple Dippers?  WTF??  I stopped asking if they'd like Apple Dippers.  They wanted fries.  And now Apple Dippers come in Happy Meals anyway. 10)  Our vegetables and fruits are not organic. 11)  Our meat may or may not b...

"I am a terrible mother." So very many of us mom-people freak out all to often and actually believe this statement. Until the Supermommies strike and piss us off. And here's how it happened: Pattergirl had a snotty nose, the tail end of what was a couple of weeks of germy HELL in my house, and was going out in public, which included playing with Other People's Children.  I called Pattergirl over so I could give her some decongestant.  As my little blonde-haired, blue-eyed, pigtailed Pattergirl bounced over to me, this "Person-I-Once-Liked-turned-Supermommy" looked at me with horror...the scene changed to a dramatic slow-motion...while I squirted what I thought was a relatively "safe" OTC cold remedy into my little girl's mouth...end of slow motion...and Supermommy began her interrogation. SM:  "Did you ask your pediatrician before you gave her that?" Me:  "No.  The dosage on the bottle for ages four to six says 2 teaspo...

Dear Self-Righteous Wench at the Library, As I stated in our brief conversation, thank you for telling me what you needed.  I will say this one more time: While I respect your right to quiet, I do not appreciate you telling me how to raise my children.  You are lucky I didn't bitch-slap you.  I am rather proud of myself for not even yelling. Allow me to elaborate: I brought my children to the library to offer them a developmentally appropriate educational experience while spending (please forgive the cliche) "quality time" with a parent.  We haven't been to the library as regularly as we used to, and were very excited to be able to make the trip on this particular evening.  My ten year old mildly autistic son requires help finding books because the number of choices on the shelves is completely overwhelming.  He reads at least at a twelfth grade level, yet possesses social understanding that is far below that of his peers.  This makes finding book...