Mumsaid

"I am a terrible mother." So very many of us mom-people freak out all to often and actually believe this statement. Until the Supermommies strike and piss us off. And here's how it happened: Pattergirl had a snotty nose, the tail end of what was a couple of weeks of germy HELL in my house, and was going out in public, which included playing with Other People's Children.  I called Pattergirl over so I could give her some decongestant.  As my little blonde-haired, blue-eyed, pigtailed Pattergirl bounced over to me, this "Person-I-Once-Liked-turned-Supermommy" looked at me with horror...the scene changed to a dramatic slow-motion...while I squirted what I thought was a relatively "safe" OTC cold remedy into my little girl's mouth...end of slow motion...and Supermommy began her interrogation. SM:  "Did you ask your pediatrician before you gave her that?" Me:  "No.  The dosage on the bottle for ages four to six says 2 teaspo...

Dear Self-Righteous Wench at the Library, As I stated in our brief conversation, thank you for telling me what you needed.  I will say this one more time: While I respect your right to quiet, I do not appreciate you telling me how to raise my children.  You are lucky I didn't bitch-slap you.  I am rather proud of myself for not even yelling. Allow me to elaborate: I brought my children to the library to offer them a developmentally appropriate educational experience while spending (please forgive the cliche) "quality time" with a parent.  We haven't been to the library as regularly as we used to, and were very excited to be able to make the trip on this particular evening.  My ten year old mildly autistic son requires help finding books because the number of choices on the shelves is completely overwhelming.  He reads at least at a twelfth grade level, yet possesses social understanding that is far below that of his peers.  This makes finding book...

Today I went to a well-known day spa in our fair city and had an aloe and herb body wrap.  I was scared, ashamed, scared, unsure, curious, excited, scared...you get the point. You may be wondering, "What's the big deal?  Why is Pattermomma so damn scared?"  Well... Two children and various stages of using food or the control of food as medicine have left my body in not the most attractive of states. I am the heaviest I have ever been (maybe...I think I might have dropped a couple pounds this summer), and had my youngest in November.  It takes some of us mommas a little longer than others to return to what is now the New Normal.  My belly is floppy, my breasts are suffering from gravity, and what the hell happened to my ass and thighs?  Since when did I start looking like...a Mother? I often thank the Fates that I am no longer the naive youngun' I was in my early twenties, but I also curse those same Fates for removing the physical perfection along...

Patterbaby was born November 3, 2010.  She is beautiful and perfect and healthy.  Everyone thinks she is so wonderful.  She is.  Everyone thinks GreenWarrior is the Best Big Brother Ever.  He is.  (My own personal Big Brother holds that title as well, but seriously?  GreenWarrior has helped us SURVIVE at times.  That necessitates the passing on of the title, doesn't it?)  I have fought the Darkness rather valiantly, I believe, and to most Outsiders (Dear Friends included) I am flourishing.  Doing Great.  Fantastic. But sometimes it's all I can do just to get up. Sometimes I am pretty damn proud of myself when I just Keep Going.

Post published on 3 January 2010 on Patterville: Today is the last day of my maternity leave.  Tomorrow is the beginning of second semester.  Feelings include: guilt, fear, apprehension, fear, worry, fear, guilt, a crushing sensation in my chest, fear, guilt, and sadness.  You get the picture.  I leave my baby in the capable hands of a babysitter, and then rush off to serve the social and political democracy in which I live.  Or something like that.   What I really want to do is cry. I am taking steps forward to do what I really want to do when I grow up, yet somehow I still feel stagnant.  The Whaddifs and Youllnevers come in and take over.  They drag my lifeless carcass to the Doldrums.  I put up a fight, but sometimes it's just not Enough.  Sometimes I need to fight harder.  And sometimes I just don't care.   I think I'll listen to the rain and snuggle my baby.  I can't teach with puffy eyes. 

I am spending the day doing small chores around the house and playing on the internet. I say "playing," but really I am doing some planning, reading, and renewing. Yesterday my Babydaddy came home telling me of a frightening, yet rather grand, idea: Paper Christmas. No decorations from the box. Paper and paper only. Handmade decorations. I am not sure about gifts. (I hope it doesn't include gifts because I have already started my Santa-ing.) My first reaction: I MUST have Christmas lights. The lights create warmth in a cold season of darkness. They are Pagan, Christian, AND Jewish in origin. Must. Have. Lights. He agreed. Lights and paper. I thought, "Now THERE'S a visit from Eureka Fire Department waiting to happen. We haven't had them over since the gas leak. I'll whip up some cookies and get ready." I have been researching "green" crafts, and I am not a fan of the Uber-commercialized Winter Holiday Season, so I a...

Wow. It's been awhile since I posted. After two false alarms, gestational diabetes, and a serious stumble into SAD, I am being induced on Tuesday. I had such big plans for this blog. I guess I'm still not finished with it. Tim has created Patterville, our very own family site that will basically be my blog/craft adventure outlet, so what to do with Mumsaid? Hmmm... My purposes for this blog: 1) Mumsaid I am a Writer After an upset with my place of work, I hesitate to speak freely about anything, so my writing career will have to be put on hold until I actually quit working in "the social and political democracy in which we live." (This is a catch phrase from my college years. We were taught to be liberally-minded educators at the ready for when our country needed us. It turns out that our country is so completely litigious that freedom of speech isn't exactly guaranteed.) So, writing anything and having an actual following will have to wait. 2) Mu...

Pretty cool ticker from The Bump. Now to see if it actually keeps track over time. Either way, it's cute, and I certainly have my priorities....